A Mind at Trust

The pattering of light rain on the porch’s metal roof and a hot cup of chamomile at Helder’s place settled my mind, soothing the insult of this morning’s bad news on the radio.

Helder,
I just keep reading and listening, and it hurts me, this daily dose of anxiety. It is a self-inflicted wound, like shooting myself in the foot, I know, but I haven’t been able to kick the idea that somehow, to stop paying attention to such things seems irresponsible. I have told myself that I am informing my prayers by paying attention.

I find the way people treat one another so disturbing, says Passerby.

I do also. Years ago, I read in ‘The Practice of the Presence of God’ that when Brother Lawrence was asked if he was surprised at how horribly humans treat their fellows, he said, “No, given the potential, I’m surprised it isn’t much worse.” Passerby, I recommend you read it. The ‘potential’ Br Lawrence spoke of is the free exercise of our Spirit-given right to say no thanks, without prejudice on Her part, to the Love relationship with Her that She offers us.

The Practice of the Presence of God, a small collection of letters from and conversations with Brother Lawrence published after his death, was the first spiritual book Helder ever read. 55 years ago.

Claire and Helder quit reading the news long ago, Helder saying,

There is only so much bad news I can let in that I can do nothing about and remain in peace. I paid close attention to such things most of my life, and I, like you, believed I shouldn’t put my head in the sand—I should stay responsibly informed, I told myself—-but no more. I finally played the old guy card since old folks can’t do anything about anything anyway. So, excused—even if only in my mind—from regularly disturbing my peace of mind, I quit. I determined to trust and focus my efforts on what She had put immediately in front of me to do instead. Best thing I ever did for myself. As they say, the only good thing about banging your head against the wall is that it feels so good when you quit. Rabbi Jesus taught us, saying, “So do not worry about tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to the troubles each day brings.

I determined to trust and focus my efforts on what She put immediately in front of me to do

Helder tells me that in his experience of helping people to die well, peace of mind was the greatest gift he could give them. The (mostly) unspoken prayer common to all humans is, “Please, I don’t want to worry, and I don’t want to be afraid.”

Passerby, guard your peace of mind with all you have. Let no one separate you from it.