Starting Over

Helder had been a learner for only a few years and progressed in his ‘knowledge of God’ beyond most of his peers. Devoted, disciplined, and determined to be the best servant he could be. It impressed many. They gave him ‘pulpit time,’ and there was talk and an expectation that he would go far in ‘ministry.’ All this even though introduced to ‘Jesus’ only two years earlier. They were all proud, including Helder.

The Creator Spirit spoke to him, saying.

“Helder, you have become everything they wanted you to be, and they are proud of you. I also am proud of you for your faithfulness. My problem is that you have not become as I want you to be. Turn and walk away. You need to be what I desire for you. You need to start over.”

Shortly after, the fabric of the community began to fray at the edges. It had formed in the midst of the fundamentalist charismatic renewal movement in Denver, which had lost its way. The renewal had honest roots among Catholic seminary students praying together at Duquesne University in Pittsburgh. It quickly spread with leaders of integrity like Dennis and Rita Bennet. However, it was quickly overcome with grabbers like Kenneth Copeland, Charles Capps, Chuck Swindall, and, of course, Benny Hinn, one of the greatest swindlers of my time. I have heard that he would have healing services in which prayer lines were formed based on the amount a person was willing to pay. Of course, the ones giving him the most money were promised the greatest benefit.

The “Gifts of the Spirit” became more important to the movement than the giver of the gifts. Relationship with the Spirit slipped to second place, well behind a desire for what She might be persuaded to do for them. Helder felt like She put her foot down in the middle of it and scattered the people in all directions. Denver wasn’t the only place this was happening. Helder observes that diaspora presaged the end of the renewal.

Helder walked away from everything they had taught him was right and true and began again. He left behind friends and the little community of other 20-somethings who had comforted him during the first few years of seeking the way Rabbi taught us.